RAISING REAL MEN

This is a series for men but women are welcome to not just watch and listen, but also to share with their sons, brother, husbands nephews etc.

In this episode, I would like to talk to you about THREE QUALITIES THAT MAKE A REAL MAN.

Let me start by saying GOOD LOOKS do not make you a REAL MAN – you can lose your looks in a fire or even in old age.

Your SEXUAL PROWESS does not make you a REAL MAN though it has its perks – by the time you will reach an advanced age you will understand this to be true.

MONEY, CARS, and all the MATERIAL THINGS this world can offer do not make you a REAL MAN as thieves, fire, or bankruptcy can be quick to prove this thoroughly.

A real man is NOT DEFINED by social status, sexual appeal, or by political power. Religious titles, sporting achievements, or even academic conquest, DO NOT define what is a REAL MAN.

I have seen very educated men with lots of material possessions capitulate at the sight of life’s reckoning hardships.

So then if you are an 18-year-old young man, or you are a 27-year-old man, or a 35-year-old dad, or even a 50-year-old bally, ARE YOU A REAL MAN?

 

NUMBER ONE: A REAL MAN IS NOT GULLIBLE

You see, the virtue of a real man is his values. When you stand for nothing, you will fall for everything. A gullible man goes with the wind. Ukwalola umwela.

Gullibility is when you are easy to manipulate, easy to trap, and easy to scam. This means a REAL MAN takes a clear stand.  He doesn’t have to fall for everything.

Men! Do not be gullible. You cannot be the one who is always at the forefront every time there is a new prophet in town. You cannot be the one who is the first to join every village banking group that is announced. For every Ponzi scheme that comes on the market, you are the first one to join. A real man does his due diligence before jumping to any conclusion.

So how do you ensure that you are not gullible?

 

HAVE CLEAR BOUNDARIES

I know when you are a social animal like me, it is easy to have blurred borderlines. But as a man, you need to be clear.

You cannot go to every bar in town. You cannot be the one at every gig. You cannot be in the headlines for all the wrong reasons. Refine and define yourself by having clear boundaries.

Don’t be the man who says I drink everything. I eat everything. I go to all the nightclubs. Or I go to any church. Decide on a path. Own your decision. And walk on that path.

 

BE COMFORTABLE WITH SAYING “NO”

I know some people do not like the fact that I am very comfortable with saying no.  You need to understand that you cannot be everything to everyone all the time.

Most of the time, your answer will be no, until the only requests you get are from the people that know what defines you.

Imagine if you gave money to everyone who asked you will you remain with anything to buy your kids food? Saying no to one person means you are saying yes to the people that are entrusted to your care.

Saying no is not a bad thing. But it takes a real man to just say no to something appealing.

 

NUMBER TWO: A REAL MAN HOLDS THE TOUGH CONVERSATIONS

When you are faced with any situation in life DO NOT DODGE it. And when a tough conversation needs to be had, rise to the challenge.

The one quality REAL MEN have, the one quality that separates boys from men is that, when the tough question is asked, a real man attends to it.

Manhood is leadership. I am talking about titleless leadership. So, you do not have to be called a CEO, a Bishop, or a professor for you to lead. You lead because you are a man. Leading means asking the right questions and answering the tough ones.

This may include questions about our behaviour, or the consequences of our inadequacies.

Real men are not defined by their perfection. We are men. Not angels. But a real man faces his limitations and does not elude the tough conversations.

Sometimes the tough conversations have to do with people around you. Maybe someone you love needs to be corrected. You must decide whether to spare the rod and spoil the child.

A real man is defined by his ability and skill to love, yet powerfully bring the people he leads to account and hold those difficult conversations at all costs. A real man knows that he is like a shepherd, and he must bring those in his care into safety even if it takes them hearing the hard truth.

Man is the head not because he is superior, but because the head has eyes to see, ears, to hear, and a mouth to speak. That means, being comfortable facing those tough moments, listening to those difficult situations, and having those tough conversations. That’s what a real man does.

 

NUMBER THREE: A REAL MAN IS POSITIVE

Life is not short of hardships, failures, drawbacks, and tall orders. Life is full of confusion, pain, and loss.

I am 44 years old, and I have never met someone who claimed that they have never faced confusion, pain, or loss in their life.

I don’t know what you may be going through right now – a broken heart, divorce, lost job, money issues, life, failed business deals, theft.

Maybe you have failed to live up to your religious standards, or you have a private weakness that no one even knows about, and your feel guilty and morally lost.

As a result, you feel like a failure, shameful, or incompetent. Maybe someone stood on the proverbial hill and told you that you are not a REAL MAN.

 

POSITIVITY MAKETH A MAN

Amid whatever your storm is, I want you for a moment to just pause and hear this again – POSITIVITY MAKETH A MAN.

You see, when you go through a tough time, believe that it is you who has been entrusted to overcome that tough time with your character.

Positivity is knowing that your situation is NOT YOU. Positivity is knowing that you are more than the things that happen to you.

 

POSITIVITY IS NOT PRETENDING

Have you heard of the statement, “men don’t cry?”

When it hurts and you don’t cry, you are pretending. Men do cry. And it is okay to cry.

But after you have shed those tears. Get up!

I want to tell you this – rise again. You will make. You will conquer in the end if you remain positive.

 

POSITIVITY IS UNSHAKEN FAITH IN GOD AND IN SELF

Look! We know things are not looking good. But a real man puts his FAITH IN GOD, not in the storm. Positivity is knowing that this is not the end. That if God has given me breath, then even he knows that I can make it?

I am not just talking about mere optimism. I am talking about faith in God. I am talking about faith in yourself that you will rise again.

As we wind up this video I want you to remember this mantra to keep you positive

That, “good things happen to me regardless, that unfair advantage is on my side.”

When faced with hardships, a real man stays positive and doesn’t pretend. He cries if he must, but after crying, he stands up, believing in himself and in his GOD that he will make it against all odds. That is why real men look like rare angels. Because they believe in the impossible.

 

In this episode, we have talked about three qualities of REAL MEN.

REAL MEN are not gullible – because they have clear values and clear boundaries

REAL MEN hold tough conversations because they know that they are shepherds.

REAL MEN are positive in the face of negativity, and they put their faith in themselves as well as in God.

What other qualities do you think define a real man? Write your thoughts in the comments section below and maybe you can help a brother out there.

 

That’s it from me for this episode. If you are a REAL MAN then Subscribe to this channel, like the video, share it, and press the notification bell so that you do not miss the next episode.

 

Goodbye for now and remember to press replay!